She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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