I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
