if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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