Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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