a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
