it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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