I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
