We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
