my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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