my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
