how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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