My Higher Power is John Stamos
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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