Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
