so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
