Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize