Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
