i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
