Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
