No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
