So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am available for nakedness
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
