He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
