Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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