the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize