so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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