it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
