I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize