this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
