i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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