Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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