let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
