I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
