I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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