and next time when you feel me up, do it right
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
