broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
