I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
