Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
