he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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