Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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