And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
