another moral hangover. fuck.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
