do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
