Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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