He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize