just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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