There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
