Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
