Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
