Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
