we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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