He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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