Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i wish my penis had a tongue
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
