You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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