oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
