people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
