Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
