these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
