Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
