why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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