what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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