did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
