hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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