Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize