Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
No subtext here. People are naked.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
