Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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