I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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