He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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