Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
