so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
