That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize