So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
