Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Randomize
